Control
by SomethingforEveryone
Summary: A 15-year old girl obsessed with the human mind is changed into a vampire with the ability to control minds. When she meets up with the Cullens, they teach her, and discover her gift. When the Volturi gets involved, her gift becomes a priceless addition..
1. Chapter 1

How strange the mind is. I'm surprised more people haven't pondered its workings in even greater depth. I've spent countless hours up at night, wondering about brains and memories and relationships within the mind.

Because if you ask me, the human brain works with relations. A computer may be smarter than a human, but it can't form relationships.

And it doesn't have to be romantic relationships either. Just words. Like in this statement:

What number is greater than three plus two but less than five plus two? The answer of course, is six. But a computer can't see the relationships between "greater than" and the first word that means and amount, then the second number, and which one goes where and how they should play out and what the equation should be-

A computer can't do that. A human mind can.

And the control you have with a human mind. I've read numerous books on the subject, mind control, hypnosis, self-hypnosis, therapy, etc.

None of them state that you have complete control of your body's inner workings.

There is argument about this, with involuntary reactions and whatnot, but I believe someone could kill themselves by telling their heart to stop. Just focusing on the muscle, and telling it to stop moving, like you would tell an arm to freeze or a leg to move.

I haven't tested this, because I fear the power I have over myself. I know it would work though. So if I ever get suicidal, I know exactly how I'd want to kill myself.

Ah. The human brain. A marvelous thing indeed.

And all of this I had pondered at the age of fifteen.

* * *

I remember the day of my transformation clearly. I was on a walk along the canyon, and like I usually was, thinking about the mind. I walked many miles without getting tired nowadays, officially having conquered pain.

I didn't feel pain anymore. Or I did, for a second, but then it would vanish once I got it under control.

You see, nerves are like muscles. You can bend them and shape them to your will.

All with the power of the brain.

I was walking, as I said. It was cloudy and rainy, but I wasn't cold. I was quite comfortable, actually.

But my feet were wet. And that, with or without complete control of my inner workings, would cause sickness.

But I had to finish my walk. That much was certain. There was only about a mile left, I could jog it, but at home there was homework and chores and friends to deal with. I decided to finish my round around the lake, which had swelled up to twice its normal size.

The lake was a beautiful thing. It literally came out of nowhere; one day there was a lake.

There was always a fairly deep and large dip here, but it never rained enough to fill it. The dip had no name, it was just there.

And then there was that year, where it rained so incredibly hard it had caused the houses of San Diego to suffer from so much water damage it cost the area over forty million dollars.

But there was a plus to the economic crisis; the lake.

Its shimmering beauty was gorgeous, and after the rains, it was just _there_. No one named it, it was simply the lake.

And it was a five mile walk around it, a walk I took every day.

Nobody knew I took this walk. My parents believed I was at friends' houses, or taking my sweet time going home.

I took this walk because I liked thinking more than any other activity. Just thinking. Just walking, and letting my mind wander. I was hoping that someday I might do something that would make all the hours I spent here worthwhile; maybe solving the economic crisis, or global climate change, or cure cancer.

Today would not be that day.

One puddle was incredible deep and mushy; my feet got caught and sunk like a rock in water. I tried fruitlessly to pull it out, but to no avail. I sighed, and calmed myself, letting my mind take over, trying to find the answer...

And I began to slowly lift my feet, letting the mud roll off gently, and soon enough I could walk again.

Or so I thought.

A large figure, marble white, blocked my exit. It wore no clothing except some sopping wet jeans, and a baseball cap. His, and I'm assuming it was a he, shaggy brown hair was pulled back behind him; either that or he had very little hair. The rain was thick; I had trouble making out any details.

He stepped forward, and I heard his voice. "What are we doing, roaming about the canyon? Shouldn't you be in school?"

His voice was sarcastic, demeaning. I ignored him, walking by quickly, ducking my head.

He was in front of me again. "Where are you going?"

"Home. My mom, I mean, my dad, is right up there," I lied, pointing towards some unseen area towards the northern side of the lake, "and he is waiting for me. I have to hurry, homework and all..." I tried to walk past him, but somehow he got there before me.

I took a slight step back, and turned around, thinking I'd walk back around the lake. I broke into a run. A sprint.

And then he was there again, right in front of me, sopping wet. My eyes widened, and I stumbled back another step.

"Please let me go back to my parents, sir," I said, trying to be polite. He was scaring me, moving so fast. I wondered if he was one of those druggies who attacked helpless woman, like my mom had warned me of whenever I went to The Heights, a shopping district that all the weirdos and sluts went to after school to fool around and do drugs, while normal people just watched movies.

"Now, you can't want to see your parents that badly," he said, his voice smooth.

'Not really, but I'm sure they'll want to see me," I said, trying to be funny, maybe he just wanted a good laugh...I tried walking past him.

And then I was on the ground, ten feet from where I was previously, and my arm was broken behind me. The sensation was numbing, and I told my nerves to stop relaying pain. It vanished instantly, but I couldn't feel my left arm.

Then I was on the edge of the lake, and my leg was under his foot. With a gesture that he seemed to take with ease, there was a horrid snap as my leg broke. I screamed for one short second before cutting myself off, hiding that pain too.

I desperately fled into the lake, taking off my jacket and swimming as best as I could with only an arm and a leg.

I was out of the water, on the other side of the like, with my side screaming at me. That pain I hid too, staring put in horror, trying to find the man who was tossing me around so fast I couldn't feel movement...

And he was in front of me, grinning evilly.

"Stop it! Let me go! Leave me alone!" I yelled at him. He eyed me curiously.

"Brave words, spoken calmly for someone who can't move."

"I can move," I said despite myself, and lurched up to stand on one foot. To rub it in, I hopped a little. The fractures and splits in my body shifted uncomfortably, but not pain fully.

"Isn't that strange..." he said, cocking his head to one side and staring at me like I was a piece of meat. Then, slowly, deliberately, he leaned in to rest his chin on my collarbone, which I felt was also broken. He inhaled deeply, I brought my left hand up and slammed my fist into his head with a might THWACK.

And caressed my broken hand whilst shutting down the pain.

Then the man's teeth sunk into my neck.

Oh the pain! More than my leg, more than my hand...

I told my nerves to stop it, to stop the burning feeling that was spreading around my body, to stop the madness-

And it did. I was completely free from the horrible fire that promised incredible pain. I pulled my neck away from him.

He blinked at me for a moment, mouth open and bloody, astonished. I wiggled to my feet, and tried to hop away, but he threw me to the ground again. I used my right broken hand to cover the wound that was pouring blood around the ground surrounding me. I pressed my cracked knuckles deep into the bite, trying to stop the monster, the _vampire_, from getting to my blood again.

"What are you doing?!" hissed the vampire, slightly crazed, eyes ablaze with red, glowering over me. "Aren't you in pain?"

My neck was empty. I couldn't _move_ anything...but I told my mouth to move, I told my lungs to force air up my throat. "No."

His mouth stayed open, except to form the words. "But, the venom, and the bones, and...what are you?" he asked finally, looking at me like I was some strange radioactive creature with ten eyes and a tentacle.

"Human." With a vast understanding of how a mind works. But he didn't need to know that.

"You can't be...the pain should be..." Then he stopped. And grinned... "You are a lucky girl," he said, a crazy smile stretching from ear to ear.

"Hardly. Here I am, in the rain, covered in blood with some insane blood-drinking _thing_ telling me I should be in pain, while I'm lying here-dying. I think I must be one of the most unlucky girls in the world. And what are _you_? May I ask? Some homicidal freak that's going to eat me? You can't waltz around killing innocent children, trying to get all turned on or whatever you're trying to do. Do _I_ go around sucking peoples' necks out? No one does. And here you are, all high and mighty, thinking you can go along and trash me completely before sucking my bloo-"

In some cases, rambling works. It helps someone think of an escape, confuses the kidnapper or rapist or whatever, let's someone realize you've gone missing...It didn't work with this guy.

In response to my gentle teasing, he ripped away my arm, dislocating my shoulder, and attached his mouth to my neck again.

A second later, he pulled back, spitting red. "Damnit," he cursed, glaring at me.

"Damn what? If you are going to curse around a youth, you should at least clarify. 'It' doesn't tell me a lot of things. What are you damning? Are you cursing my blood and it's...inedible-ness? Because you can't drink blood you know, it's not healthy. Or maybe you are cursing me for talking so much, or for not feeling the pain you so obviously think I should feel, or-"

"Shut the hell up. I'm cursing the venom. It's too late," He growled. Huh. Whatever that meant, I was off the hook. I wasn't going to well...die. Wow. Rambling worked. I tried it out again, wondering if I could get my so called 'good luck' to improve in any way.

"Then you could of very easily said, 'Damn the venom!' or, 'Damn that blood!' or something like that, you know what I me-"

"Shut up or I swear I will kill you right now."

"Well, that isn't very nice. To be quite honest, you sound like an asshole right now. Just sayi-" And I was on the other side of the lake. I felt my collar bone split, and I quickly turned off the pain there.

I realize now that these weren't a normal person's reactions to almost killed by a vampire. A sensible person would scream, run, and then die.

Without pain, one can focus easily on how to escape. The high-and-mighty attitude of this man told me that he would be easy to annoy, easy to distract. I was able to respond effectively...I think.

"I'm keeping you, so shut up. You aren't going to die. You're...special, I guess. I'll give you to the Volturi, how does that sound?"

Idiot. Like I knew what he was talking about.

"Well the word itself is fun to say. Volturi. Kind of rolls off the tongue, don't you thi-"

And we were off. In less than a second, he had picked me up and we were flying. Or, that's what it felt like.

It seemed we were heading westward, but I couldn't be sure. His legs moved with blinding speed, so fast that I couldn't really see any movement at all. The scenery passed without me recognizing any of it; we could be in New York and I wouldn't notice.

About a day into our journey, I noticed a change in my freckled skin. My freckles were still there, but the skin under was pale white. As I watched, I saw the freckles slowly disappear. I also noticed my gut shrinking, I was getting skinnier, and I felt my hair grow longer and straighten. I saw clearly that I was changing into one of him.

* * *

Three days later, and he says my transformation is complete. He stops in the middle of a desert, looking at me, a cruel grin plastered over his white face.

He looked different now, with my new eyes. He had explained to me some of the traits of a vampire as we ran, going into detail about how I should've been writhing in pain, crying my eyes out, wishing for death.

"The beauty of the mind," I said in my new voice, after telling about my wonderful connection to my brain. With this added mind-power, I had more control over myself and my inner workings than I could've ever hoped for.

A burning began in my throat around the second day, something I quickly got rid of. I didn't ask about it.

Eventually, he had told me his name. Roger, it was. He didn't seem or sound like a Roger, but I didn't annoyingly tackle him about his name.

"We're here," he said, as I drifted out of memories from my transformation. I looked around. We were on a cliff, and down below us was a large plain of sand, with a few stray trails running across it. "Now, what do you smell?"

I inhaled deeply, and nearly choked, the burning feeling in my throat consuming all my thoughts.

"What is it?" I hissed, angry at the smell. It had enraptured my mind completely, taken away all my senses. I felt hatred towards it; my mind was my own. This smell, a measly smell, should have no power over me.

"Go find out," Roger stated simply, and I slowly began my descent down the cliff.

There, on a faded trail, were two lone hikers. They didn't see my sparkling skin as I drew close, they didn't see me at all.

A wind passed by, blowing their scent into my nose. I gasped. The most delicious food, the sweetest drink, gourmet excellence, right in front of me. Their blood, I realized. I needed it. I lunged forward.

They saw me. The female one screamed, while the male stood protectively in front of her, eyes agape.

My skin, I remembered. My skin....me....my head.

I turned off the torturous burn in my throat, and the urge was gone. The smell was gone. Just a faded memory, one I sought to erase.

"What are you _doing_?" hissed Roger, joining me in an instant. The woman screamed again.

"I can't kill people," I whispered, horrified at what I almost had done.

"Fine then, later," he growled, and began walking slowly towards the terrified couple.

"NO!" I screamed at him. He didn't respond just drew closer to the pair; I remembered when he had nearly killed me...

"STOP! STOP IT! STOP MOVING!" I screamed, my hand reaching out in desperation.

And he stopped. Frozen, completely, unmoving. An instinct took over, telling me what to do, what to say...

"Step back," I whispered, and my hand twitched ever so slightly toward me. He did so.

"Forget me," I whispered again, curling my fingers down halfway. I _felt_ his mind bending to my will, like warm clay. "Don't move for twenty seconds," I finished, then released him. I quickly turned to the couple. They were shaking. I lifted my hand, feeling the same instinct take over. I understood it now, however, and needed less of its guidance. "Stop," I said, just because the command was familiar. "Forget," I said again, transmitting what they needed to forget, and why all of this was happening. I began running then, east, still holding onto their heads...and I felt Roger get up and leave after his twenty seconds were up. After I heard him travel many miles away, I released the couple to walk, unremembering of their close encounter with death.

I ran faster, frightened with the power I had been given. I only needed to control my own mind, nobody else's, never anyone else's...

To be able to take someone's will away from you...the very thought made me shudder. If there was one thing I respected in the world, it was the human brain. To enslave it so easily...

I ran, away from the world, just away, to the east...back home.

Home. I couldn't go home like this.

After three days of running, I met the east coast. Too sunny, I headed north.

I needed clouds...Seattle. Rain existed all the time in Seattle.

With new inspiration, I sped off at lightning speed towards the safe cover of clouds.


	2. Chapter 2

I didn't get tired. I realized I _should_ be getting tired, but I wasn't. My muscles were invincible as I blazed through California. A couple of times I ran across a town or city, but I moved too fast to be seen. I remember at one point, running past a pizza joint. The smell had filled my nose, and I nearly turned off scent receptors because of it. The greasiness consumed the cheese, the oils and fats standing out past the other scents, or rather odors. I recalled the scent of human blood...and pushed it away. It was clear I couldn't eat normal food, and there was no way I was going to eat human food. With a frustrated sigh, I pushed forward with renewed vigor.

Another day later, still not tired. However, the pain in my throat, which I could only assume was thirst, was growing. I felt unhealthy, weak. I quickly turned those sensations into nothing but discomfort. But whenever thirst came to mind, there was a sort of swelling in my throat, like I was swallowing.

At one point, the bustling cities turned into abandoned mountains. I stayed near the peak of one, covered by the clouds, to look around and possibly pinpoint my position. When no landmarks stood out, I ventured what I hoped was north again.

Then I saw the cloudbank slowly sink until it surrounded a city, dotted with people. It was raining. I saw a tree, and without breaking movement, rushed behind it so I could calmly walk out into the crowd. Once I had stopped moving, I looked at my skin; sparkle free. With a start, I headed out into the area, calmly surveying where I could be.

There were a few shops cleverly named, "Seattle's Stir-fry," which told my I was in Seattle. That was a start. A few people stopped and stared at me. I glanced down at my skin again. It was pale, but there weren't too many tan people here. I blinked and tried to ignore their slack-jawed expressions, and headed in some random direction.

I was in a forest. Once under cover of trees, I sprinted off deeper into the woods, dodging the branches and leaves that stood out easily in my path. Running, easy running...

Then there was an opening. A perfect oval like shape, with long, soft grass forming a meadow inside it. It looked fairly peaceful, and even though it was close to perfect; natural. Like Mother Nature's personal haven.

I curled up in a ball letting my head rest on my knees.

And I thought.

My mind stretched out luxuriously as I considered my position. As I thought, however, it became apparent that I was incredibly stupid.

I had no idea what I was. Okay, I knew I was a vampire, but other than the fact that I had to drink blood, I knew nothing about myself. The shocking hollowness of my identity made my entire body lurch; I always knew who I was. I mentally searched my body enough to know exactly how it functioned and how these functions relied on each other. To have all that information made useless...I shuddered.

And the one person who I knew could've told me about myself I ran away from, and took away all his memory of me. What if he was the only vampire in existence? It wasn't entirely impossible; that could be why he kept me.

Then a sudden remembrance came from my human past into my vampire mind, a fact etched forever in this new brain.

_"I'll give you to the Volturi, how does that sound?"_ Roger had said. I had commented on the name...how it rolled off the tongue.

"Volturi," I whispered to myself. They would know something about me, Roger was going got give me to them.

But what if they were dangerous? What if they disposed of creatures like me? Vampire slayers...the idea didn't seem so foolish to me now.

And I could make them not kill me, like I had done Roger. Make them forget my existence...and have them teach me a little about who I was. If they killed my species, then they would _have_ to know just a little about it.

I stood up, and began to leave the clearing to visit this Volturi. I'd find a library, look them up, use a computer or something, when a very familiar scent crossed my path.

Not familiar like the sweet, taunting human scent, but the flowery smell of Roger. I froze. Had he come back for me? Did he remember? Did my mind control fail?

I began backing up, slowly, wanting to catch a glimpse of who I was running from before I left.

And then I mentally slapped myself for being so silly.

I could learn about myself from Roger, I could right my wrongs. And if it wasn't Roger, a different vampire...well, I could learn from them too. And if they didn't come in peace, I could just as easily make them forget me and run off. I tensed, waiting for a verdict...

And a sole vampire stepped into the clearing.

He looked to be in his lower twenties, and was _very_ attractive. His hair was sleek and blonde, and his features; perfect. His stance was comfortable, welcoming, not over-confident like Roger's had been. I kept still.

His arms opened wide, again, in comfort. "Welcome," he said simply. His voice rolled off his tongue like velvet. I kept my position. "I am Carlisle," he said again. I relaxed slightly, taking a deep breath. He smelled very much like Roger, but there was something different, something odd about his face. Different than Roger. I pulled an image of my creator next to the man standing a few yards in front of me, and studied them each closely.

The eyes, I realized. This one's eyes are yellow-ish, Roger's were red. I wondered if my eyes would be purple or something like that. Did every vampire have different eye color?

I recognized an opportunity for knowledge. "What's up with your eyes?" I asked, trying to sound casual. I realized, for the first time, that my voice was also perfect, just like his. I wondered if I looked like him too, perfect.

"My coven has a different diet than you do, I'd guess," he said, looking calm. "May I ask your name?"

"Yes," I retorted.

"Excuse me?" He asked, slightly confused.

"You may ask me for my name." Impulse, I always did that to my friends or teachers. I felt extremely stupid saying it to a man who had the ability to rip me limb from limb.

However, her just chuckled and rephrased his question. "What is your name, then?"

"Sophie," I said, still wary. Roger was my only impression of a vampire, I couldn't be sure others weren't like him.

Then there was another scent. I jolted my head up; there was another vampire close by. Another half a second later, a tall woman was standing next to the one called Carlisle.

"Hello Sophie, I'm Esme," she said, smiling warmly. She reminded me of a mother that would make you cookies when you had friends over, or would take you to the movies and buy you a present every other day. I subconsciously shifted closer. She was just as beautiful as what I presumed to be her husband, judging by the way they were holding hands. My perfect eyes did not miss the rings placed elegantly on their finger.

I didn't detect any other scents; the air was clouded with the incredibly familiar vampire odor. Which is why it took my by complete and unnecessary surprise when a voice appeared behind me.

"Hi, I'm-"

I whirled around, unable to help myself and screamed, "Back!" pushing my hand back at her in an irresistible command. She flew backwards, ramming through a tree, but I knew it couldn't hurt. "Freeze," I whispered, and she didn't move. I held onto her mind in my head while I froze all the others as well.

Then there were five new minds in the field, I could sense them easily now. I froze them all too...and only counted seven brains locked onto mine. I let the last brain go; maybe my limit was seven. I held onto their minds and hurried north, probably into Canada. I wondered idly if there was a gate, then realized I could jump it without anyone being the wise.

Further and further I ran, and then the minds were lost from my grip. I couldn't figure out why or how it happened, so I assumed I couldn't hold their minds for that long either, or maybe from too far a distance.

I sped up.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps on my left, then a few more pairs of feet behind me; I decided not to bother counting. The entire, what was the word Carlisle had used? _Coven,_ was after me. I struggled to make my footsteps stretch out, tried to force my legs to come at a greater speed, but even with my Herculean effort, there were still footsteps drawing closer. I pushed further, then made a daring right turn. I kept running, not sure which directions I was going now, when all of a sudden-

I hit a beach. It was cold and raining, but there was no denying it was a beach. I ran along the coast, and then from my peripheral vision, I could _see_ the eight vampires trailing along behind me. I pushed fast, and came up on a cliff. Not doubting my strength, I leaped up onto one rock face, then the next, keeping the vampires behind me in sight.

I was moving so fast, and yet they were still gaining on me. _How was that possible?_ I sent a command with my hand back to their minds, but they were blocked. I tried again, but for some reason, there was nothing to grip on, like trying to hang on to wet plastic, or gripping at smoke.

I tried to speed up, when they were a mighty crash at my side.

It hurt. I blocked out the pain, and hurt a quiet vampiric gasp behind me. Then someone was running right alongside me. I saw another vampire, with those same golden eyes. His hair was reddish, and he looked to be about twenty, or in his late teens. He was holding my arm now, and was gradually running slower, forcing me to shorten and skip over my strides, almost tripping. Then there was a big one, with jet-black hair that was cut short, still absurdly gorgeous, however, and was clinging to my arm as well, bringing my pace down.

One what seemed to be a mental countdown, they lifted me from the ground, and each held onto one of my arms. I tried hopelessly to freeze them, but it seemed my powers had gone away. Fearing pain and death, I removed all pain from every nerve, and let myself hang limp.

No pain...no pain...

* * *

We were back in the clearing, and they eight vampires circled around me, forming an inescapable prison. I let my nerves feel again, ready to turn them off at the slightest instant of pain. I would not die writhing on the floor.

"Sophie, we don't want to hurt you," said Carlisle. I looked away. Then why did he bring seven other killing machines?

A strange feeling came over me then, one of intense relaxation. The almost-adult with reddish hair rolled his eyes, for a reason I couldn't imagine.

"Sophie, I'm Alice," said a pixie-like voice. I looked at the source; it was the same vampire I had frozen earlier, the one who snuck up on me. "You don't need to apologize for earlier," she added. I blinked. I _was_ going to apologize, for she seemed nice enough. My first impression of her was quirky. I looked around the circle surrounding me.

"My name is Bella," said a girl who looked like she was in her late teens as well. She was holding hands with the reddish-haired one, who was next to introduce himself.

"Hello Sophie, my name is Edward. You don't have to worry, we won't hurt you." Though his voice was soothing, I didn't trust him.

"I'm Jasper, and this is Emmett," said one with curly blonde hair, who was pointing to the burly guy next to him, the one who had captured me along with Edward. Emmett, I guess, was smiling widely.

"And I'm Rosalie," said a stunning, amazingly gorgeous blonde. Her face held kindness and sympathy, along with a maternal softness.

"I'm Sophie," I said quietly, then felt extremely stupid for saying so because they all had heard my name. None of them acknowledged my mistake. Carlisle began to speak again,

"Sophie, we would like to talk to you at our home nearby. Would you care to join us?" he said. "I assure you, no one will try to hurt you if you come with us, and we are all friends here."

I wasn't sure. For some reason, my powers were now useless. If they attacked me...all I would be able to do would be to numb the pain. But then again, these were the friendliest vampires I've ever met, and probably the only ones I'd meet in a long time. I sighed, and nodded.

"Sure, I'll come,"

"Thank you," Carlisle said, smiling, and took off at a leisurely pace. I followed behind easily, while Edward and Emmett ran behind, Jasper on my left, and Esme on my right. Bella was running ahead faster than us along with Rosalie. I stared at the ground, thinking about why these vampires could possibly want to talk to me. Because of my...ability? Or maybe they were the Volturi, and they were going to kill me...

"We aren't the Volturi," said I quiet voice behind me. I turned around, stunned, and saw Edward, looking ahead with a casual smile. "The Volturi lives in Italy, and you should have no desire to ever see them."

I frowned. Had I said my thoughts aloud? And how did he know about my plans to go and talk to them about who I was.

"What?" was my lame reply.

"Here, we're home," said Esme, smiling at a tall, grand house. She set her shoes by the doorway on an antique bench. I looked at mine; they were rugged and muddy. I set mine down along her's and the other's all the same; I _was_ the guest after all.

Carlisle sat down in a large armchair in a living room, and motioned to a simple couch. I sat down on the far left, furthest away from Carlisle. However, Alice showed no sign of awkwardness or discomfort as she curled up on the other side of the couch. I waited. Esme seated herself in another chair, while Bella and Edward sat with their backs to the wall on the floor. Emmett and Jasper paced around the living room, looking intimidating. I shifted uneasily, waiting for conversation to start.

"Well?" I asked, impatient.

Carlisle was the first to speak. "Sophie, do you remember when you were bit?"

I nodded. "Six days ago, I think,"

Edward look stunned, Esme confused, Jasper looked disgusted, and Carlisle looked disbelieving and amazed. I didn't look for any other reactions.

"Sophie, do you mean to say that you were fully transformed just three days ago?" said Carlisle, mouth agape.

"...Is that bad?" I asked, confused by their reaction. I remembered how Roger said it was queer that I felt no pain...should I still be in pain? I let all my nerves loose, not controlling any of them. Nothing burst into pain, except my throat.

_My throat_.

I grasped at my neck, swallowing rapidly, and quickly turned off the nerves, breathing heavily. Then I looked around me to see if any of them had noticed.

Apparently, all of them had.

Edward and Carlisle both had an expression of wonder on their face, Jasper one of worry, Emmett one of confusion, Esme one of compassion...and Rosalie and Bella were nowhere to be seen. I gulped one last time, and looked down. Yes, I was supposed to be in pain. The pain in my throat was enough to drive me...I didn't want to think the word.

Insanity was one thing I feared more than any other disease. Any mental disorder whatsoever. To never be able to think logically again...the mere thought of it made me shiver.

Insanity was always my last explanation for things, which is why I never thought myself to be crazy when I turned into a vampire, or when I started thinking a lot about the mind.

So it upset me slightly when the five vampires' expressions turned to look like they were questioning my sanity. I frowned.

"I'm not making this up," I mumbled defensively.

"No, she isn't..." said Edward, trailing off.

"How do you know?" I asked, feeling uneasy. How did he know about my wish to see the Volturi? How did he know I was telling the truth?

"Sophie," said Carlisle. He sounded as if he was choosing his words very carefully. "Sophie, not all vampires are alike. There are differences, gifts, so to speak. There are also different diets, different ways of living, different rules. We need to, or we'd like to, explain all this to you. Since you've come to our coven, I feel it is our responsibility to teach you. Only if you agree, of course."

I froze. This was too good to be true, an entire coven wanting to teach me, to give me some perspective. Different diets...did that mean I didn't have to kill humans? My throat twitched, not painfully, but oddly. I did _not_ want to kill humans. And to just learn a little bit...

"I would like nothing more than to learn about myse...about vampires," I said, not quite wanting to reveal my inner turmoil's. Edward looked at me, his expression one that someone would show to a friend if they had just lost their pet. I frowned, wondering if he could tell what I was thinking about.

His lips curved upwards. I froze again.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Some of you might've realized that I replaced the last two chapters with new copies of them. The reason is that I finally fixed my spell-check and now the writing should be fairly error-free! Rejoice! Enjoy this chapter, all reviews are very appreciated. Sorry it took forever, school, bronchitis, and mid terms have kept me busy.**

It was then that Rosalie made her appearance in the living room, looking at me warily.

"It's...complicated, Rose. You might not want to do that just yet," said Edward, without turning his head. I looked over at the blonde. She was standing in front of something that was cut off from view...

"It's okay Edward, Sophie is in complete control. She won't do anything to Nessie," soothed Alice, smiling at me.

"Who's Nessie?" I asked, trying to get a closer look at what Rosalie was hiding. Involuntarily, I inhaled taking in the scents around me.

There was mostly vampire scent that I registered. I sensed wet dirt from outside, wood and cotton from the furniture, some aged spices from the kitchen...

And something else. Something familiar...I tried to get a lock on it. With a sudden jolt, I realized what that extra scent was.

Human.

I inhaled deeply, taking it in, trying to make sense of it. Human and vampire, a delightful aroma. The one called Jasper seemed to have heard my sniff, and his eyes became slightly dark. He said softly to Rosalie, "She smells her. She knows she's here."

Bella, who was sitting next to Edward, called over to the blonde vampire as well. "Seriously Rose, Sophie looks fine."

And then Rosalie stepped aside, and called softly up the stairs to who knows what, "Renesmee, its okay. Come down." I looked ahead, eager to put a face to the smell.

An incredibly beautiful girl came walking down the stairs. She wasn't quite as fluid in motion as the other vampires were, but she was graceful nonetheless. But that wasn't what made me so glad when I saw her.

She was young, looking no older than fifteen or sixteen. Was she new, like me? Was my blood half-human as well? Her mouth turned slightly upward at the corners, though the expression was too rigid to be considered a smile. I let my mouth spread into a friendly grin.

"Hey," she said, smiling slightly wider.

"Hi, I'm Sophie." She probably could've heard our conversation before, and knew who I was, but I wanted more than anything to be her friend. Someone my age, facing similar problems to mine...My grin grew. I wanted to ask her about her, to see if she was anything like me. "Excuse me, but you're, different, than other...well, other vampires. What are-well I mean how-well, you know..." I looked at her hopefully. I wasn't sure if saying she smelled different was considered an insult in this new world. Realizing I didn't even know how manners worked in this life, I felt a rush of pain swell over me.

I used to live in a world I knew, or rather, a mind I knew. Every action had a reaction, every thought had its place, every sensation could be controlled. I couldn't feel any control in my mind. My brain jumped erratically from one feeling to the next, one idea veered so far off-course I could hardly remember the original thought.

"Renesmee is half human, half vampire. She was conceived and carried by her mother, Bella, as a human. Her father is Edward," Carlisle said. Renesmee turned her head to give him a look I couldn't see from my angle.

"I can talk for myself." she said, her voice a shocking blend of a death tone conveyed through high-pitched soprano. She was looking down now.

Renesmee looked at Carlisle, then Bella, both of which nodded. "I'm half human," she said. She didn't sound entirely excited by the idea. I decided to ponder that later.

"How is that...I mean, well, how does that...work?" I asked, uncertain. She looked a bit awkward now.

"Well, when Mom...had...me...she was still human, and Dad was a vamp," she said, smiling a little bit at the slang. Vamp. Huh.

"Oh. I guess that makes sense." Kinda. Sorta. Not really.

"We can tell you the details a little later, there are more pressing matters," said Edward. "Rosalie and Renesmee, please join us, we are having a little family talk." He smiled a tad.

Carlisle shifted, drawing attention to himself. "Sophie, do you understand you are different from most vampires?" he asked, voice light.

I looked down. "Kind of, someone once told me I should've been hurting when I transforming, but I didn't hurt."

"Who?" he asked, his voice still remaining kind.

"My...creator. His name was Roger."

"Now Sophie, what can you tell me about your transformation?" Now his voice was soft but eager, he was inclined forward towards me.

"I think he was hunting me before, but when I turned off the pain-"

"Turned off the pain?" Carlisle asked, smiling encouragingly. I could see the neurons-or whatever made a vampire's mind work- firing.

"Yeah, it's this thing with the brain and stuff; I learned how to control my nerves..." I felt extremely stupid explaining this. It sounded like something out of a comic book.

Carlisle seemed to sense my discomfort. "So, you turned off the pain, then what?"

"He bit me, and then there was this burning, so I turned that off too. Then I told him to stop, and he seemed surprised. He asked if I was in pain, and I said no, because I wasn't. He stopped...drinking, and talked to me for a little bit. Then he went to...drink my blood, I guess, and he said something about it being too late, about how the venom had spread..." I trailed off. Carlisle was grinning.

"Yes, then what?" he asked, leaning forward now.

"Well, he carried me, really quickly and lots of running-" By this point I was zoning out, trying to make sense out of the experience. "And he told me a little bit about being a vampire, like about my senses and skin and stuff, and that I had to drink human blood. He took me to these two hikers when the transformation was complete. He tried to make me hunt them," I remembered the incident clearly. I remembered how that scent, that stupid scent, had captured my senses completely and utterly, how I was enslaved by their taunting, delicious edge.

"And I turned off the burn and I told him to stop hunting them, then I made the hikers forget," I finished quickly, looking down. Carlisle was beaming.

"And this was three days ago, correct?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Fascinating," Carlisle murmured. "Do you know where Roger was taking you, by chance?"

"He...he said something about the Volturi..." I trailed off when I saw their expressions. They were glaring, for reasons I didn't know. Renesmee's face became creased with fear. I looked at each of them, trying to process what their expressions meant. Renesmee looked afraid, had the Volturi done something to her? The others looked angry. How protective were they of Renesmee? Could their anger stem from Renesmee's fear?

I decided to ask a different question from my list of thousands. "Who is the Volturi?" I asked, looking at Carlisle. Though no sounds were made, I could here the hisses and growls festering in the vampire's throats. My view of the Volturi instantly changed. Roger, who I had hurt me, wanted me to go to the Volturi. This family I trusted far more than I did Roger, and they had a negative reaction to the Volturi.

To my surprise, it was not Carlisle who answered. Another blonde male, the one called Jasper, began speaking. "The Volturi is a very, very, large vampire coven in Volterra." I didn't know where Volterra was, and decided not to ask. As Jasper continued to speak, Alice left her spot next to me to curl up by his side. Jasper said no more.

"What?" I asked, confused. Could this coven have such an angry reaction to the very name Volturi because of the size of their coven? "Is that it? Come on, there has to be something else. Do you have competition with each other? Are you trying to be bigger than them? Is this like a vampire hormone thing?"

Jasper sighed. "No, Sophie. The Volturi aren't the nicest people. Their job is to make sure vampires don't reveal our existence."

"That doesn't sound so bad," I said, trying to tie together the information I had received.

Edward spoke up, his voice filled with venom. "The Volturi's goal is to make their own coven larger and stronger, and they will stop at almost nothing to make it that way. They've caused us much trouble in the past."

I didn't get their explanation completely. There was a story they weren't telling me. "How did the Volturi cause you trouble?"

The vampires looked uncomfortable now. Carlisle's steady grin had mutated into a frown, before his expression lightened. "Renesmee, do you want to go on a walk with Sophie?"

The effect of his words was immediate. There were collective hisses, and Rosalie and Bella both got up and were at Renesmee's side in an instant. Renesmee rolled her eyes and pushed passed them, walking over to the couch where I sat. She held out her hand, offering to help me up. I gingerly accepted the invitation, then jumped slightly when I came into contact with her skin. It was fiery, extremely hot. She grimaced, and Rosalie and Bella growled.

"Come on Sophie, let's go." Renesmee muttered, clearly annoyed. I got to my feet, and she led me out. The second we had stepped out of the house, into the backyard, frantic yells were audible from the living room.

_"Are you insane, Carlisle? Renesmee is HALF HUMAN! Sophie is a NEWBORN! You can't just let them-"_

_"Sophie and Renesmee will be fine Rosalie. Bella, you have nothing to worry about. Sophie is hardly a newborn at all. Really, she's hardly a vampire."_

There was a flash of wind, and Renesmee was off, sprinting towards a mass of fallen trees and thick mosses. It was a forest, and it seemed vaguely familiar. I then recognized it as the forest I had blindly traveled through to get here, and quickly followed Renesmee.

"The Volturi tried to kill be and my family," said Renesmee, out of nowhere. I turned, and saw that she was jogging lightly behind me. I frowned internally, had I passed her on the way here?

"Why?" I asked, curling into a ball on the ground. Renesmee joined me, picking delicately at a piece of grass.

"Can I just show you?" she asked, looking at me. I blinked.

"What do you mean?"

"Here, hold still." I waited patiently and Renesmee placed a hand gently on my forehead.

Then there were pictures. It was like reading a picture book, with little mental captions on the bottom of each. Within moments, the story of the vampire children and Renesmee were in my head.

"Wow," I said, dazed. My amazed emotions were quickly overtaken by anger at the Volturi, then horror as I realized how close I was to meeting them, how I had almost been carried to them by Roger...

I wasn't positive these feelings were my own, as I held suspicions that Renesmee was biased on the subject. I wondered briefly if her personal feelings on the subject would become mine, if she had some scary mind control...

She uncurled herself, and relaxed on the ground, lying down. I picked idly at a piece of grass.

"My parents are so annoying," she finally said, breaking the silence. I didn't respond, I wasn't sure I knew how to. Her complaint threw me off, it was so...teenagery.

"Why?" I asked, just as I would if one of my human friends had made the same comment.

"They act like I'm a kid! I mean, when I was a baby it was fine, but I'm an adult now! Just because the stupid _Volturi_ nearly killed me like, five years ago, they're all paranoid!" She was getting up now, the force of her anger driving her to her feet. "Even Jake! I mean, we've known each other forever, but still! He acts like every guy who looks at me wants to jump me, I swear!"

"Oh," was my lame response.

"'Oh' doesn't cover it," she hissed angrily. The sun suddenly freed itself from behind a cloud, and the light erupted over the sky, setting the world on fire. I look down, looking at my sparkling skin.

"That's the other thing," Renesmee said, examining her own hand, "I don't have the same skin as the others. It just glows. I'm like some freaky flashlight," she said bitterly, looking up at the sun. I got up and joined her.

"You know, I'm only three days old," I said conversationally, trying to ease her. Renesmee looked at me, eyeing me with new caution. I shook my head, dropping my head. "No, I'm not dangerous." I then looked up at the sun, seeing red and orange spots with my new vampiric eyes. "There's something wrong with me, too."


	4. Chapter 4

"Sophie, my family is going hunting. Care to join us?" Carlisle asked. The others, besides Renesmee who was standing next to me, were ready at the backdoor.

"Uh..." I wasn't sure how to answer. The thought of blood brought that uncomfortable swallowing sensation in my throat. I guessed would cool the pain I felt now, but the feeling wasn't really unbearable. Did I need to hunt?

"Just tag along," Renesmee said. "You don't have to do anything if you don't want to." She smiled at me. I nodded.

"Very well then, let's go," Jasper said, and shot out the door.

We all followed, but at a slower pace. It took me a while to figure out that the reason was Renesmee, who was struggling to keep up with us. I felt a surge of pity.

Suddenly, the pity swelled over me, capturing all the space in my head for thinking, making movement impossible. Compassion for Renesmee seemed to be the single most important thing in the world, and I collapsed, sobbing without tears.

_She can't keep up with her own family, she's different than anyone else she's ever met, she can't be independent, she's been traumatized by a huge group of indestructible vampires-_

Outside my realm of thought, I heard a murmuring voice, but that's all it was. Useless sound.

_A miserable existence, she isn't at home with humans or vampires-_

"Sophie, snap out of it!"

I blinked, then froze in horror. What had happened? In a second, I had been controlled completely by a single train of thought. I swallowed desperately, then began screeching. The _pain!_ My throat was scorching, my vision went red, and all I could smell or feel was a sweet, throbbing pulse nearby, so close, I could reach out and touch it-

In a second, I was on the ground, arms pinned behind me. In the same second, rationality returned to me. I was in control of my body once more, and turned off the scorching in my throat, the overflowing wave of emotion, and forced relaxation into me, taking deep breathes.

"I'm okay," I said, and pushed Edward off of me. I looked around the empty forest area for the others. "Where are-"

"They left when you lost control," he said, tensed. I sighed. Losing control is just another way of saying 'going insane'.

"Sorry, I'm not sure what happened. I was just feeling sorry for Renesmee and then-"

"I know. After you firs transform, feelings can get very intense. You aren't to blame at all. You need to be fed, that will help." And he began running off after the others. I followed behind him, when a new thought crossed my mind.

My 'gift' was to control minds, to bend them to my will. Could I completely dominate myself like I had Roger, instead of this weak grip I held over myself?

"Maybe," Edward said, and I tripped a little bit, forgetting what his special talent was. Mind reading. Right. I didn't have time to test my theory, as we caught up to Carlisle and the others in just a few seconds. They had stopped, and were frozen.

"Listen," Carlisle breathed, and I did, letting my senses spread. And I could hear throbbing, like Renesmee's, only wilder, quicker, and many more just like it. A herd of animals, at least twelve...

But something inside me told me I could hear so much farther than I was right now, that I was only filling a tiny bit of my potential. That same instinct that had told me what to do with Roger commanded me now.

_Listen, _said the voice, and my hands bended to form little domes. There was some pain, which I automatically removed, and then I could hear _everything_. Edward's tiny gasp as he read my mind, Carlisle's tiny shift as he turned to examine me, the padding of deer's' feet on the soft grass, the rumble of cars on the highway, the small sound of a stone being hit by one of those cars and landing on the dirt on the side of the road, a plane taking off at an airport many miles away-

"Sophie!"

The sound would deafeningly loud if it weren't for my infallible ears.

"What's wrong with your hands? Carlisle!" Renesmee cried, grabbing my hand. Her pulse was blindingly loud, right up against my hands. I turned to look at them and gasped.

A small hole, about the size of a dime, was right in the middle of my cupped hand. I brought my other hand to my face, and saw an identical hole.

_Go away!_

The holes closed, and my extra hearing retreated. Everyone was staring at me. The weirdest part was _feeling_ the cells in my body respond to the directions my brain was sending out, vampire bone cells turned into vampire auditory nerve cells, morphing and changing to create a mini, super powerful ear in each of my hands. I _felt_ it happen, I knew what to do to make it happen, I knew what exactly was changing inside myself. It wasn't an automatic thing, I was knowingly controlling it.

"Sophie, are you okay?" It was Carlisle. I nodded, taking a few deep breathes to calm myself. The effect of deep breathing was completely psychological, as I didn't need oxygen, but it seemed to help.

Renesmee was at my side. "Are you sure?" she asked, looking at my hands.

"Yeah, I'm sure. It was just...well, it was a thing with my gift. It really is okay, I have everything under control. Let's hunt," I said, and headed off to where I had heard the deer.

And there they were. Gathered around a small, mossy creek, more than twelve. I waited for the others to strike first, as I wasn't sure how to kill one of these animals myself.

Rosalie, perfectly calm, had snapped the deer's neck before it had understood its fate. She immediately sunk her teeth into its neck, sucking the luscious blood easily.

The deer were scattered now, trying to stay together while running away. There were only five or so left, everyone had already gotten at least two deer.

It was clear to me that they were waiting for me to have a try. It was also clear to me that I did not need to harm any of these creatures. I curled up into a ball, relaxed, closing my eyes.

_No thirst_.

I didn't need a hand gesture for controlling myself, like I did others. The words in my head were strong enough.

I stood up, inhaling deeply through my nose, releasing my weaker hold on the pain of being thirsty. Edward bolted towards Renesmee along with Bella and Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper stepped towards me, and Carlisle held a freshly-killed deer, which I could tell he was ready to give up if I needed it.

But I didn't need it.

I could smell the delicious scent of the spilled and spilling blood, the savory scent of Renesmee, the earthiness of the moss in the creek and upturned dirt. I could smell it, and it didn't bother me in the slightest. It was like being in a bakery with a full stomach, you could admire and smell the breads baking, but you didn't feel an overpowering urge to steal a few loaves.

"I'm fine, I don't need to hunt," I said, smiling triumphantly. Jasper and Edward shared identical faces of surprise.

"Are we ready to head back, then?" said Carlisle softly, having finished his deer. There were murmurs of agreement. Renesmee gave me one of those 'you-will-tell-me-what-happened-just-now-when-we-are-alone' looks, and we head back to the house.

I was buried deep in thought. If I could tell my throat to stop scorching, and if I could tell my hands to become _ears_, then maybe I could tell my tongue to be human too, and my nose, and my stomach, and my digestive system, and, well, _everything_.

Could I make myself human again?


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey guys, to make up for the long wait, here's another quickie update. I think the story is moving along great, and will be finished in fewer chapters than I thought. It's getting very exciting to write now, and I know exactly where it's going. I expect it to be done in less than ten more chapters, and I am also thinking of writing a sequel with a bit of romance in it XD, so look out for that...eventually. Love y'alls, enjoy!**

It was very abrupt, when it happened. First Alice, then a split second later, Edward. She froze, eyes locked in misty horror, and then Edward sported the same terrified expression.

The others reacted immediately, gathering closely together.

"Alice is it-"

"Can someone _please_ tell me what's going on?"

"Are they coming back? _Why_?"

"The Volturi are coming back to check on Renesmee," Alice snarled. And then she gasped. Edward's mouth popped open.

"Eleazar!" he growled. I frowned, not understanding much of what was going on. Should I ask?

"Who's Eleazar?" I asked tentatively.

It was Carlisle who spoke next. "Eleazar is a close friend of ours, who helped us deal with the Volturi when Renesmee was young. He has the ability to sense gifts in other vampires. But he stopped working with the Volturi many years ago...Alice, why is he helping them now?"

Alice's eyebrows were pulled into the middle of her face, and her eyes held the saddest expression I had ever seen. Her breathing pattern was offbeat and rugged, and Jasper was immediately at her side, holding her close to him.

"They killed Carmen," she gasped, "They killed her and Alec, he has him now." She gripped Jasper's arm.

Carlisle bore a similar expression, and all the couples within the coven held each other fearfully.

"Alec has the ability to break weak emotional connections between people and form new ones with the Volturi," Carlisle explained, his voice heavy. "After Carmen was killed-"

"-he broke down. And Alec gave him a false new love, the Volturi," Edward finished, growling.

"Oh." What else was there to say? The more I thought about poor Eleazar, the more the emotion took hold inside me, and I felt myself heading towards the uncontrollable sadness I had felt for Renesmee.

But then, without telling myself to, I was calm.

"That was Jasper," Edward said, "He can control and feel the emotional 'climate' of a group of people."

At that moment, I felt a little bit of dislike towards Jasper. Controlling my emotions? _My_ emotions? I can control my own emotions, thank you very much.

"Sophie, relax," Edward said. Oh right. The mind reader.

"Renesmee, we don't have long. Teach Sophie what we taught you, okay? There isn't time for lessons, they'll be here in-" Alice concentrated, squinting her eyes, "-two days. They are taking part of their guard, but not all of them. It won't come to a battle, I don't think."

Their _guard_? Lessons? What?

Renesmee grabbed my hand, and images flashed before my eyes.

Red eyes, humans, gold eyes, animals, black eyes, thirsty, Aro, touch, mind, thoughts, his...

If I was human, I was sure the information would go in one ear and out the other, but my vampire mind caught every fact and held tight, making the information my own.

"What color are my eyes?" I asked, looking at Renesmee as we flew past the trees, heading back towards their house.

"Bright red.'Cause of all the human blood that you had when you transformed. Not as bright as Mom's were," she gave me the picture of newborn Bella, then of me, "but still, pretty red."

I could make my hands turn into ears. I could make myself deny what I lived off of. And I knew I could change the color of my eyes.

As a human, I had blue eyes, so maybe...

"Sophie, if you are going to change your eyes, change them to gold, like ours. We don't want you to seem special to the Volturi," Edward called back to us. "Bella will stop Eleazar from using his talent to discover your gift, but having blue eyes will tip the entire guard off, no matter what any of us do. Gold or red, you choose."

Right. Renesmee had showed me that Bella was the shield against mental powers, and that Eleazar was a mental power, so he wouldn't be able to tell that I could control others.

In that moment, it became abundantly clear that the Volturi would want me desperately. I could _control_ people, which was their purpose, to control all vampires. And then I remembered Roger.

He was going to take me to the Volturi. Had I not escaped from him, I would be with Aro and the others, attached to them emotionally by Alec, doing their bidding. I gulped, and thanked my lucky stars that things turned out the way they did.

We were back at the house now, Edward and Bella had left to go who-knows-where, Renesmee was lying down on a couch in the living room, Rosalie was cooking something with Esme, and the others were in the backyard, talking quietly.

"Sophie?" Renesmee called, lifting her head up to see me.

"What?"

"Do you want to practice?" she asked tentatively.

"...Practice what?"

"You know, controlling things."

I blinked. Did I really need practice? It wasn't too hard to control Alice when I first met her, but then I had lost my grip on all of them-

No wait. That was Bella. Bella's shield had stopped me.

"C'mon, it would be fun!" Renesmee insisted. "We'll go outside, and you can practice on me. I don't care."

"...Okay..." I could sense an ulterior motive than to just 'have fun', but I didn't draw attention to it. I was certain I could get it out of her while we 'practiced'.

"Carlisle, Sophie and I are heading outside. We'll be back soon, okay?" Renesmee called out, not waiting for a response as she shot out towards the trees.

As I followed her, I began to recognize the path we were on. Now where had I seen it before...

And then there it was, the clearing where I had first met the Cullens. Where I had frozen Alice, where I had run away from, where I had been brought back to, where I was introduced to each member of the coven individually-

"Okay, so...make me do stuff. Whatever, go for it," Renesmee said, standing in front of me. I thought for a second, but couldn't come up with anything good.

"Like what?"

"I don't know, make me climb a tree or something." She braced herself. It wasn't really necessary, I mean, there was _no way_ she could do anything against my power. I could feel it now, a super strong muscle inside me. It was like training for a marathon and then running an eighth of a mile. Easy.

"_Jump_," I whispered, sounding just like the voice in my head. My hand curled up on itself, and snapped over to a nearby branch. Renesmee flopped over like a ragdoll, her legs hurling her over to the tree. But she didn't grab on or anything. She just jumped over to exactly where I had pointed. Uh...uh...uh...

And she fell, and landed with a loud _thud_ on the ground. She snapped out of her momentary trance and stared at me, blinking.

"That was _awesome_! Do it again! But, uh," she examined her messed up clothing, "make me land this time, kay?"

"I'll try..." Maybe it was a good idea to practice. She got to her feet and I could sense her trying to dig her shoes into the grass, trying to steady herself. "_Stop_," I said first, lifting my hand. She stood completely rigid. "_Jump._" But I didn't curl my hand completely. I merely bent the tips of my fingers over, then straightened them as I snapped my hand up to a different treetop. "_Land_," I whispered, and let my hand grab into the air, as I would a branch.

It wasn't flawless, I miscalculated and the force made her swing around the branch and end up upside-down. But she was holding on tight. I waited for her to leap to the ground, but saw that my hand was still in the same position. Rather than release her, I said, "_Com_e," and let my hand rest in front of me. She half-fell, half-jumped to the ground, but she was soon in front of me, and no thoughts running through her head. Experimentally, I touched her hand to mine.

Suddenly I was as rigid as she was, for a second, but the command I had given her, now projected towards me, forced me to drop her grip and I was my own person again. But I had also relinquished my control over her. She shook herself and stared at me.

I was crumpled on the ground, sobbing. What I had done to Renesmee was _horrible_. Worse than insanity, hell, worse than death! For that one moment, that disgusting, _hellish_ moment, I was nothing more than a shell. There was no thought, no will, no _anything_. Just my brain, latched onto Renesmee's, latched onto my own command. The only feeling I could sense a hint of was waiting, hanging on my every word, ready to jump on the next command.

"Renesmee, I'm so sorry, I didn't know, I didn't understand what it was like-" I gasped.

"What do you mean? It was awesome!" Renesmee said, kneeling at my side.

"What do _you_ mean? How can you even _joke_ about something so horrible?"

"I'm not joking," Renesmee said, smiling, "It was fun."

"_How_?!" How could anything so _monstrous_ be fun?

"Well, it was like, not worrying or being annoyed or hating anything. It felt kind of like sleeping, only safer, you know? Because when you sleep you can have nightmares, but this is better, it's like a really relaxing trance," she said, helping me to my feet.

"We have _very_ different opinion on what that felt like, Renesmee," I said, breathing slowly. _Relax_, I told myself, and I sighed when my body automatically responded. "We should head back."

"But it's only been like, five minutes, and there's nothing to do at home!" Renesmee whined. Fine then, we'd talk.

"So, why were you so eager for me to practice on you?" I asked, sitting down again, curling up into a loose fetal position.

"What do you mean?" Renesmee asked, but I could hear some nervousness, or rather sense it, in her voice, the way she spoke.

"Renesmee, c'mon, you can tell me," I coaxed, sitting closer to her as she sat down next to me.

"Well, don't be offended, okay?" She said, then continued as I nodded. "Right, so I thought that it would piss off my parents if I did something dangerous. Not that you're dangerous, but they don't really completely trust you yet and they don't know what you would do to me if you controlled me." She paused, and then looked at my slyly. "So be sure to think about this thing a real lot when we get back, okay?"

I laughed, though I was a little hurt that they didn't trust me. But who was I to be trusted? Some random newborn who showed up on their doorstep with a crazy tale about extreme mind over matter?

"I don't think I can not think about it," I admitted honestly. That empty feeling I got when I touched Renesmee would haunt me for a _long_ time.

There was a lengthy, comfortable silence after that. The small noises of far-off wildlife, the light tinkling of a creek, all of it was very peaceful.

"Renesmee, what do you think the Volturi will do when they see me?" I asked nervously.

"I dunno, they won't kill you, if that's what you're wondering. They wouldn't bother, as long as you don't pose as a threat to them, which you won't as long as you don't show off. Oh, and to get on their good side, you might want to make your eyes a little less freaky-red colored. You know, dark enough to fool them into thinking you aren't a newborn, red to make them think you kill people."

"...Is the animal diet, uh...frowned upon?" Funny, have all vampires let go of the compassion they once felt for their human peers?

"Not really, but it's kind of like being vegetarian and going to dinner at a hunter's house. You kinda become a pain to feed."

I paused, digesting that. Excuse the pun.

"You know what, I think that would be a really good analogy if I bothered to figure it out, but I don't really want to right now," I said, lying down, smiling at the black sky.

Renesmee laughed, then yawned. "You know, it's really late, I should be getting to sleep."

I brightened. "Sleep sounds good."

Renesmee shook her head sadly, "No. Only the freaky half-vampires have to sleep."

"Lucky."

"Not really," she sighed, getting up. "Oh, and don't worry about the whole mind control thing. I really liked it, and I hope that you do it again sometime because it was fun. Seriously, it was."

Never again. "Maybe."

And we took off.


	6. Chapter 6

"Relax, jeez! I was just helping Sophie practice for-"

"How _dare_ you put yourself at risk like that? Don't you know-"

"-that the Volturi are coming in like, two days, and Sophie has no combat training whatsoever? Yeah Mom, I know, and excuse me for trying to help!"

"Renesmee, you don't need to help. _We_ will help her, we still have some time-""Who is 'we' Dad? You and Mom? Everyone but me? The _real_ vampires?"

"Renesmee-"

"Forget it, I'm going to sleep." I heard her footsteps as she sped up the stairs, and then Bella and Edward's slower pace as they neared the door I was listening through. I shot back and rested on the couch, trying to look unsuspicious.

"Sophie, I know you were listening," Edward said, rolling his eyes. Mind reader. Damn."Uh, I'm sorry. I didn't think the whole practicing thing was that big of a deal, I mean, I had done it before, and it was a nice night out, and-"

Bella cut off my rambling. "Sophie, we're worried about Renesmee. She's been doing a lot of risky things lately, and we aren't sure why-"

"Don't _you_ know?" I said, turning to Edward. "I mean, you can read her thoughts and stuff."

Edward sighed. "Renesmee has gotten very good at keeping her thoughts from me," he said, sadly.

I blinked_. _What? Weren't they listening to what Renesmee had said just moments before?

_"Who is 'we' Dad? You and Mom? Everyone but me? The _real_ vampires?"_

"Are you guys blind or something?" I said, exasperated. They stared at me, shocked. "Excuse me?" Bella asked, astonished.

"Renesmee is being all rebellious because you guys keep _smothering_ her!'Renesmee can't do this, Renesmee can't do that,' You know, she's really smart and really strong, and she just feels left out. There is a pack of werewolves, a city of humans, and a coven of vampires here, but there aren't any other half-vampires around!" I yelled, hoping Renesmee would hear me standing up for her.

Bella and Edward were silent. After a long pause, Edward said quietly, stiffly, "There are some extra rooms upstairs at the end of the hall. Feel free to stay in any one of them." And he left with Bella, out the back door, and into the night.

Well, that could've been handled better. But before guilt could take over my mind, I vanquished the thought. It was for the better that they knew the truth about their daughter.

"What the _hell_ were you doing, Sophie?" Renesmee yelled, hurling herself down the stairs.

"Huh?"

Renesmee was glared intensely at me. "You can't just blurt out everything I've told you to _my parents_! What's wrong with you?"

"I, I, well, I mean, I was just trying to help-"

"Trying to _help_?! God, I hate all the stupid _help_! Everyone is always trying to help the baby half-vampire, make sure the freak child can't get in any danger, a _real_ vampire has to be with the semi-human at all times. And now you, thinking you're _so_ superior to me because you're a _real_ vampire, you're teaching my parents how to deal with me? You know what this means, right? Another year or two of Mom and Dad having these stupid therapy sessions with me to try to get me to open up. Dad will spend all his time reading psychology books, Mom will insist on having Mother-Daughter Days, and everyone else will be giving my these stupid sympathetic looks, like they're just waiting for me to pour out every feeling I have for them. I _hate_ it, and you just made it _worse_!" Renesmee all but screamed.

I shrunk away. My voice finally returned, I said quietly, "Renesmee, I'm so sorry. I had no idea that it would-"

"Forget it, there you go again, trying to help me, and, oh _wow_, is that pity? I don't need anyone's pity, okay? Just, go away!" She charged up the stairs before I could meet her eyes again, but I could've sworn I had heard tears in her voice.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, and waited for a few minutes, standing perfectly still, before heading upstairs to one of the extra rooms, and sitting down on a couch inside.

I felt like crap. Disrespecting the very people who had taken me in, hurting Renesmee...But had I really disrespected Bella and Edward? I mean, I had just told them about what their daughter was thinking, just answered the question they had been asking themselves for so long. So what if I said it with a little bit of attitude? It's like they forgot I'm just as young as Renesmee is, that I've had only a few days to get used to the idea that I would be a vampire forever, that everything I have ever known seems to have _vanished_.

At least Renesmee was born the way she is now. She's had her entire life to learn about herself. She's had a supporting family who has loved her and wanted the best for her.

I gulped, my thoughts heading towards my own mom and dad, my home back in sunny San Diego. But I quickly stopped that painful train of thought. No use mourning over what I could never get back.

Or could I?

Could I make myself human? Could I return to my house, and go on like normal? Pretend I had gotten lost? I got to my feet, and concentrated.

_Be hu-_

"STOP!" Alice screamed, and threw me against the floor. I landed hard, but it didn't hurt. Which meant I wasn't human.

"Why?" I asked, peeved. "It's not your business what I do."

"It is when you're about to kill yourself!" Alice yelled. "Sure, you might've been able to make your body human again. But you haven't had any water in _three days_. The second you completed your transformation, you would've _died_ of thirst."

Oh.

"Well, thank you, I guess," I grumbled reluctantly, getting up and sitting on the couch again.

Alice sat down next to me and put her arm around my waist. "You need to be more careful before you do anything drastic," she lectured. I held myself from rolling my eyes.

"I know, I know, I messed up. No turning human until I have water. Right." I could wait.

Alice shook her head. "Sophie, I don't think you should ever turn human. It doesn't seem natural, to just change yourself. What if something goes wrong, and you die? Isn't being a vampire better than risking death?" I stayed silent. She went on anyway. "And I don't think you can create life. You are already dead, Sophie. It isn't that bad, you know, being a vampire. You don't need to buy food and you can learn anything, so you can become whatever you want. And then when you get bored of whatever you're doing, you can pretend to die and start over, become something else. And then you have so much money that you can just do whatever..."

Her voice trailed off. Or maybe I just stopped listening.

"You know what? I'll do whatever I want. I think I'm going to leave now, I'm sorry for being such a hassle. Thanks for teaching me. Tell Renesmee...tell her I said 'Goodbye'. Maybe I'll see you guys later." And with that, I ran. I heard Alice gasp, the same way she had when she saw the Volturi were coming.

"Sophie, wait! You can't-"

"I can, and I will. Bye."

And I ran.

"WAIT!" She was sprinting after me now.

_Faster_, I told myself, and felt vampiric muscle forming. There was no way she was catching me now.

Within seconds, I found myself miles and miles away from the Cullen house, wandering around the empty forest.

* * *

Stupid Renesmee. Stupid Cullens.

They, against my will, forced me back to their house and shoved their ideas down my throat. The Volturi are bad, they want to take over the world, blah, blah. There was no privacy, Alice predicting every movement, Edward reading every thought you had, and no freedom, with Jasper giving you false emotion.

And Renesmee. Oh, _poor_, _lonely_ Renesmee. She gets all the best parts of being a vampire and all the best parts of being human and she _complains_?

_'Oh, I'm so sad, I have to sleep at night, and I have to eat human food while everyone else destroys life to be able to survive, and I don't get freaky sparkling skin so I can go outside when there's sunlight, and I have to deal with these pretty brown eyes instead of black and red and gold eyes, and everyone wants to help me and be nice to me, oh boohoo, woe is me!'_ I was so sick of it. Running away seemed like a better idea with every passing step.

A speck caught my peripheral vision. I halted immediately, following it, but it had vanished.

"Hello?" I called out hesitantly. I wasn't scared, I mean, worst case scenario, it's a psychotic vampire, and I tell it to run away.

"Hello!" an excited voice called out. I spun around, looking for whoever had spoken. It was definitely a male voice, and he didn't _sound_ psychotic.

Then something clicked. That voice, the excitement...I had a memory of it. But it wasn't _my_ memory.

It was Renesmee's.

_Aro_.

**A/N: I'm still _loving_ writing for this story, and I'm so grateful that you guys like it too. Some of you guys are saying it's your favorite story, which is an amazing response that just makes my day. Thank you _so_ _much_ for your support, every comment inspires me to write another chapter. I'm actually getting ahead in writing for this one, writing one chapter a day (at least! ZOMG!) I might be posting once every two days, if my writing streak continues. Reviews _definitely_ help my writing streak, especially when they are glowing remarks like the ones I've been getting recently. You guys rock! Love y'all, :D**


	7. Chapter 7

"And what is your name, young one?" Aro asked pleasantly, his voice coming from behind me now. I turned, and gasped.

Fourteen. Fourteen vampires, more than twice the amount of the Cullens. I recognized a few from Renesmee's shared thoughts, there was Aro, of course, and then child-like Jane, and Alec, and, like Alice had predicted, Eleazar.

Eleazar calmly walked up to Aro and whispered to him very quietly. I only had a vague idea of what he could be saying- oh, wait. Right.

_Listen, _I told myself, and felt that spark of pain in my hands as they morphed into ears.

"...invaluable to us..."

Aro nodded. Damnit.

_Go away, _I said to the holes in my hands, and backed up. I didn't need to hear any more of their conversation; it was fairly obvious that Eleazar identified my ability and told Aro. And Aro...well, he looked at me with this disgusting grin.

A disgusting, _possessive_, grin.

"My dear, do not be afraid. Tell me, what is your name?" he asked, and held out his hand to shake. His bare hand. Renesmee had showed me his talent, how he could read all the thoughts you've ever had in one moment of contact.

"My name is Sophie," I said, but made no move to touch his outstretched limb.

"Ah, Sophie," he said approvingly. "Pretty name."

"Thank you." You are so full of shit.

Aro sighed, and pulled his hand back. "Sophie, how long have you been with us?"

"Only a minute, I'd say, but it feels a whole lot longer." Oh yeah. Feel the burn.

"I meant how long have you been a vampire?" Aro rephrased, grinning, acting like he appreciated the humor.

"Not too long," I said carefully, checking my wording. The less Aro knew, the better.

He tilted his head to the side. "Now Sophie, we don't have to make this difficult."

Oh yes we do. "Of course not, I'll talk slower if you want me too."

He smiled and called softly, "Jane?"

There was no time to react, to prepare, even though I knew what Jane's ability was. She was waiting for his signal, I was sure of it, and the second he had started to say her name she was already shooting pure, unadulterated pain at me.

Blistering fires, tearing limbs, ripping the very cells in my body apart. I gasped, and fell to the floor, writhing and screaming in agony. The pain was all I could think about, all I could feel, all that mattered.

When I was human, I had trained myself to stop pain the second it appeared. After I stubbed my toe, I felt a split second of agony before I commanded my nerves to stop relaying pain from that area. Over time, it became automatic.

I was immensely relieved to feel those instincts take over as the pain vanished. I knew that my human strength could only stop those feelings for a short while, so I took over with my gift.

_No pain._

Jane stared at me, unbelieving. Aro's smile made it seem like nothing could've pleased him more, and the rest of the guard looked astonished.

Aro sighed again, this time in happiness, and said, "Sophie, you are extraordinary. We would love to have you among our ranks. Will you consider joining us?"

I snarled. It was a deep, earthy sound, one that even surprised myself.

Then there was a tugging. It wasn't physical, it was emotional. I felt ties, between my friends, my family, and the Cullens, ties that were so obviously there, now dissolving. Bella and Edward, gone. I didn't care about them anymore. Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie, completely erased. Renesmee-

"_Stop_," I said, thrusting my hand forward. Alec froze.

There was a silence, and though it lasted only half a second, it was the longest moment of my life. So many things could've happened then. I could've killed Alec; I felt that I had the power. I could've ended his life.

The Volturi guard could've attacked, and killed me in mere seconds.

The whole lot of them could've run away, hiding in terror.

But instead, Aro clapped slowly, breaking the icy silence.

"Brilliant," he whispered, and touched Alec's hand. I could imagine the thoughts running through his head in a tenth of a second, then the one he was currently thinking.

And mighty Aro froze right next to Alec.

This was all too familiar, and it wasn't Renesmee's memory I was relating to. It was mine.

I had lived in Aro's position, curiously glancing into another's mind, and finding themselves lost, without emotion, without _anything_. That same intense guilt gripped me from the inside, and I toppled over, gasping my apologies. He was feeling nothing now, had lost all control of himself, because of me, all because of me...

"I'm sorry, I forgot, I'm so sorry, it's horrible, I know, please, _please_ forgive me-"

Aro was at my side in half a second, and he knelt down next to me, hushing my sobbed pleas for forgiveness. "It's alright, Sophie. I'm fine. Alec is fine. It's okay. We forgive you."

I quickly shut down the guilt, embarrassed and infuriated at myself for giving in so easily. Aro tilted his head again, looking at every detail on my face.

"You aren't very old at all, are you?" he said, and began circling me. "Incredible self control, but that seems to be your power, control. Over yourself and others. I wonder..." he said and stood directly in front of me. "How far do your powers go, my Sophie?"

And before I could react, push him back, freeze him, he touched my forehead.

I didn't feel or see anything, but when Aro pulled back, his hazy eyes were bright. "Wow," he whispered. ""That is quite a gift." He looked at me again, speculating. "Sophie," he started, "what do you think we, the Volturi, do? What have you heard about us?"

That you kill the innocent and take whatever or whomever you want. "That you kill the innocent and take whatever or whomever you want." No point in hiding my thoughts anymore.

Aro shook his head. "You've met the Cullens, then?" Like you don't know.

"Yes. They were very hospitable."

"Well, the Cullens tend to have a very negative attitude to the Volturi-"

"Their 'negative attitude' is justified," I interrupted. "You tried to kill Renesmee."

Aro pulled up a very sorrowful face. I would have felt pity for him, but I knew he was faking it.

"What happened between us and Renesmee was a very sad thing," he said, head down. "But you must understand, Sophie, that the purpose of the Volturi is to _protect_ vampires, not destroy them. Renesmee looked very dangerous from our point of view, we had no idea what she was going to become. Yes, we were set on killing her, but after we had proof that she would be safe, we left, did we not?" He didn't wait for my response. "Sophie, it is very hard to keep our people from being discovered. There have been very close calls you know, and I'm afraid those close calls have made us very paranoid. The Cullens never told you about the good things we've done for the vampire community, did they?"

It wasn't really a question. He had seen my thoughts, he knew they hadn't. I didn't answer him.

"Well, there have been wars. Terrible, frightening wars. Thousands upon thousands of people were getting killed, and we had no way to _control_," he emphasized the word, "them. We had to resort to ending lives. But you Sophie, you could give us the control we need." Aro smiled.

"...I don't follow..." What was he asking of me? To enslave their enemies? Make the stubbornness of vampires join their clan?

"Sophie, you can make it so we don't have to kill anymore," Aro said, excitedly. "You just have to tell them to be careful, to not create anymore vampires, to stop mass-murdering humans, and they will. Don't you see? If you join us, we _don't have to kill_."

I froze.

Life is Thought, and I value Thought above all else. Life is the reason I can think, the reason I can create and control and learn, the reason others can teach and give and share. Without Life, there isn't anything, no neurons or brains or growth.

A human body can have air forced into it, can have food put into it, can have its heart pumped, but Life is something that just can't be forced or controlled. Life isn't in the blood of a body, or the skin, or the stomach. It's in the brain. Like a candle, it burns, gives us consciousness and mobility and Thought. But candles burn out.

Or they can be blown out.

And the Volturi was wind, and it had blown out many candles. But if I joined, I could change the candles, make them thicker and wiser, and I could make the Volturi a simple breath, rather than a gust of air.

But if I didn't join, was I extinguishing candles myself? Wetting their wicks, making the Volturi a hurricane?

I loved Thought, and therefore Life, and I had just been given an amazing opportunity to protect and save. There was only one option, really.

Aro seemed to have seen the change in my face, the acceptance, rather than the disgust, and his grin widened in an obvious expression of glee.

"I'll do it." I said, looking him in the eye. "I'll join the Volturi."

**A/N: Sorry about the wait guys, I had this chapter ready to publish, but lo and behold, the internet crashed. Sigh. Then I went to an overnight camp for a week, then there was catching up with sleep when I got home, and then there was a bat mitzvah, and now I am posting the chapter. Thank you all, again, for your support, this story will _definitely_ be finished, it's actually nearing a close. I estimate about three more chapters and an epilogue. There will not be a sequel, and I'm looking for ideas for other stories to write. If you have an idea, I'd love to get a review or PM. Thank you! **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry about the wait, but I had a really annoying camp to go to, not nearly as fun as the last one. This is the second to last chapter, not counting the epilogue. The epilogue and the final chapter will be posted at the same time. The final chapters will be posted next week, or should be, unless I have a camp I don't know about. I was going to split this into two chapters, but I thought that with my erratic updating, you guys deserved a nice long chapter. I'm pretty proud of this one. Enjoy :D**

"No, please!" The white-skinned male was frozen, his eyes wide, his stance defensive.

Aro's voice was dark. "The villagers have noticed the bodies and disappearances, Joham. This is the only way."

* * *

_Five years ago..._

"Aro, I'm not sure about this..." I whispered. Aro placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Relax, Sophie. This man, if you could even call him a man, is evil. He deserves his fate."

"But-"

"Sophie, what would the punishment be for serial rape in the human world?" Aro asked. His gaze was penetrating. I swallowed compulsively.

"Jail for life, I think, but this is different-"

"We are putting him in prison, Sophie. A mental prison." After the words had escaped his lips, he froze, acknowledging the mistake he'd made.

The crippling guilt swam over me, and the familiar weight seemed to crush against my chest. A mental prison. Stuck forever with thoughts other than his own, feelings other than his own, forced into a different state of mind. No one deserved that, a complete loss of control over themselves.

Aro touched my hand, then winced as he felt my overwhelming feeling. "Sophie, control yourself."

I swallowed again and thought desperately, _No guilt_. The relief was instantaneous, the guilt disappearing, the weight lifting.

"Sophie, he is going to attack again any second, you need to stop him. He's a monster."

"I can't." Even without the guilt swarming over me, I still had values, and freedom of thought I valued above all else. How could I steal something so precious?

Aro sighed. "Sophie, come." He rose elegantly from the ground, gliding away from the bushes we had used as cover, walking across the road. I paused, reluctant. "Sophie," he commanded his voice a delicate whisper that echoed across the street. I slowly got up and sprinted toward him, following close behind as we made our way to the parking garage we had followed the incubus.

Aro crouched behind a beat-up truck, watching through the tinted windows that had little effect on our superior vampire eyes. A young woman, no older than twenty-five, was putting groceries in the back of her car, completely oblivious to the horrors that were sure to come upon her.

And then I saw him. He was enormous, standing tall, widely set, eyes dark red and gleaming. A gross smile spread across his lips as he neared his prey.

The woman was humming a carefree tune when she was spun around. She gasped as she took in his height and obvious strength, and then seemed to choke with fear as she looked into his eyes. His smile widened.

The next second she was on the ground, arm twisted behind her, the back of her head bleeding profusely. For some reason, I couldn't kick the feeling of déjà vu. I was too horrified to think about why, as the monster crushed her hand in his, laughing at her cries of agony.

"Stop!" she screamed, thrashing wildly. "Someone he-!"

She was flung to the side, hitting another car hard, setting off its alarm. Her shirt was torn and bloody, and her leg was twisted at an odd angle. The vampire walked slowly, smiling, absorbing every ounce of fear.

"Stop! STOP! Someone he-" she choked on the rest of her words as he grabbed her throat, hard enough to block any air from escaping but loose enough to let her live. With a joyful cackle, the vampire began tearing at her clothes.

"STOP!"

After that piercing scream, _my_ piercing scream, the only noise came from the blaring car alarm, as Aro, the woman, and the incubus froze. My hand was stretched out in front of me, and I was no longer behind the cover of the truck. I whispered the words to unfreeze Aro. He followed silently behind me as I sprinted to the vampire.

"Let go," I commanded, letting my hand go slightly limp, and I caught the woman as she fell. She was broken, but still alive. I could feel her dull pulse, the little flicker of life still in her. As gently as possible, while shaking with anger, I set her on the ground. Furious, I turned toward the monster.

"You don't have to set him free," Aro said. "He deserves to die, you know that. You can kill him, Sophie. I know you can."

It was so tempting. The rage was running through my frozen veins, I comprehended nothing but the intense anger and hostility I felt toward the beast standing in front of me. I felt the ability to destroy him within me, the exact gesture it would take to make him fall limp, lifeless.

"I want to," I whispered, shaking harder. "I really want to."

"Do it," Aro urged gently. "It's the right thing to do. This man is nothing."

No. He wasn't nothing, he was something. He had Life and Thought. But they were tainted by evil, by the urge to destroy and murder.

But I could _fix_ that. I could change him, make him better, purify his life.

"I can't kill him," I said, my anger fading. "But I can fix him."

The commands were simple, words like 'kindness' and 'nobility' and 'chivalry'. And 'forget'. He could not be allowed to remember this incident.

"Forget," I whispered, and all of a sudden, I remembered why he had seemed so familiar, why this entire scene had been like my own memory.

This man, this _incubus_, was Roger, the man who had turned me into vampire only a few weeks ago. I couldn't imagine how I hadn't seen it before, how I hadn't remembered his face, his evil grin. The young woman was just like me, helpless and vulnerable. "Go away," I said, disgusted, and he went running. I waited until he had gone many miles away, then released my hold on him, turning to the dying lady behind me.

Her hand was completely crumpled, splitting at some points and completely ripped at others. Her fingers were misshapen, and both her arms were twisted at odd angles. Her legs were bent under her, and her head was bleeding freely at the back. I gently straightened out her body, then concentrated very hard, trying to feel her injuries through her mind.

"Heal," I said, touching her forehead.

Immediately, I felt pain stabbing me in different parts of my body. My legs, arms, heads, spine, hands, _everything_. I fell over, writhing in agony.

Were our minds linked now? Could I heal her? I tried to control the bone tissue, her skin, her muscle, and felt her body weave the cells together like they should be, and felt the pain leave my body. When I turned to see the woman's body, it was completely intact. I got up from the ground, carrying her in my arms, feeling empty and weak. Healing was _painful_.

"Aro, what should I do with her?" I asked. I couldn't leave her out here, almost completely unclothed. Aro shrugged.

"Just put her in her car and have her wake up. It doesn't matter. She's human," he said, carelessly. I was about to talk back, but decided against it. I would take care of her.

I walked over to her car and opened the unlocked door, setting her in the driver's seat. I whispered commands, giving her a fake story and explanation as to what had happened to her.

Aro coughed, drawing my attention to him. "Sophie, you can't take this much time for every situation. There's too much trouble in the world. Next time you need to work quickly."

I got the meaning behind his words immediately.

"You want me to just kill them next time?"

"Well, no, not the vampire," Aro hinted. I shook my head.

"Aro, human life is just as valuable to me as vampire life. Besides," I prepared myself for the lie, "I don't know how to kill. Life isn't something I can control."

I backed away as Aro reached forward to touch me. "If you don't mind, I would like to keep my thoughts private," I said, angrily. Aro frowned, but made no move to touch me again.

Without another word, he left. I felt a small surge of guilt, but proceeded to squash it. Guilt had never brought me anything good, only pain. What if I were to get rid of it, permanently?

_No more guilt, _I said to myself, and felt the little guilty experiences get lifted away. When I was nine, I cheated on a test. I had felt extremely guilty at the time, but decided not to tell. That small little event had been weighing on me for the past six years. It no longer did.

When I was eleven, I stole a piece of chocolate from my dad's secret chocolate stash. I didn't confess to that either, even when he asked me about it. I didn't care anymore. It felt _wonderful_ not to care.

Dad. Mom. My parents. I felt a wave of sadness as I remembered them. How long had it been since I last saw them? I couldn't go back. I could never see them again.

So why did I need that sorrow I felt whenever I thought of them? Why did I need to remember my love of them, if it would only bring me pain?

_No more sorrow_, I thought, then added, _No more anger_. Anger had made me think irrationally today, made me want to kill Roger when I had the power to make him kind.

And with the anger, sorrow, and guilt gone, I felt a strange sense of glee. All the painful emotions were gone. I was only happy, relaxed, relieved. My anger with Aro was gone, and I followed his trail back to the Volterra.

* * *

"I'll do anything! I'll kill them! No one will ever know! I'll run away!" Joham begged, on his knees. I looked at Aro. He signaled for me to wait.

"Joham, what you have done is inexcusable. You've created far too many of these half-breeds, it's coming to the attention of the humans," Aro said.

"I can fix everything! Just give me a few more days-"

"You'll just try to hide from us again, Joham. It's too late." I caught Aro's eye. He nodded.

I extended my hand in front of me.

* * *

_Four years ago..._

"Kill him," Aro commanded, calmly.

I shook my head. "I can't"

"Why? Why can't you kill him?"

"I don't have the ability to. I can't control life. I've told you this." It was a lie, of course, one that I had been telling often. After getting rid of the Bad Feelings, lying was much easier. Erasing memories and changing personalities was second nature now, but I didn't really want to kill. Life was still important, it would be wasteful to destroy it. Even life as pitiful as the fat, sleeping man in front of me.

"We are going to kill him anyway, we need to feed," Aro said simply.

"I..." I started, but stopped. If they were going to kill the human anyway, there was no point to not ending his life quickly and painlessly. Why had I even tried resisting before? I couldn't remember. It probably had something to do with the Bad Feelings, but I had given those up. They brought me nothing but pain. Killing this man would make Aro happy, and making Aro happy was a nice thing. And being nice was important. The nice thing to do to this man would be to kill him before anyone else could hurt him.

"I'll try," I said, even though I knew I'd be able to do it. After a year of practice, I no longer needed to speak commands aloud. The hand gestures were enough.

My hand stretched out in front of me, and I felt his mind become mine. _End_. My hand curled into a fist. And I was no longer holding on to the man's mind. He was gone. No more Life. No more Thought.

"Nice work, Sophie," Aro whispered, his face breaking into a huge grin. I smiled too. The Happy Feelings were flooding through me, so much more pleasant than the Bad Feelings.

Nice work indeed.

* * *

Joham's eyes were wide with fear. _Fear_. I had gotten rid of that one. Poor thing, still burdened by it. He was very lucky I would be ending his sorrowful life this way. He wasn't being very kind toward the female humans either. He deserved to die.

_End_, I thought, closing my hand, and felt his Life leave him. I felt Aro's happiness next to me, as well as my own, for helping Joham escape his terrible mind. I smiled and turned to Aro. He was grinning as well.

"Where are we going next, Aro?" I asked, eager as always to help another vampire.

Aro sighed. I had gotten used to the sound. "Back to America. There is trouble in the northwest." He studied my face, as if waiting for a reaction.

"What's in the northwest?" I asked, scanning my memories for the past four years. I didn't go any further back than that. I remembered that the time before then had been plagued with the Bad Feelings, and I knew that remembering would bring the Bad Feelings back.

Aro chuckled. "Sophie, we are visiting the Cullens next."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: LAST REAL CHAPTER! Sorry for the stupidly long wait! The epilogue should already be up, but if it isn't, check back in a few minutes. I'll wait until then to be all sappy about how amazingly amazing my viewers are, how excited I am that I finished my first story, so on so forth. **

**I was just nominated (thank you thank you thank you to whoever nominated me) for the Sizzling Stories award in Best Post-Series, Best Overall Story, and Best Author. Please vote for me at sizzlingstories . webs .com ENJOY! :D **

"End," I said, concentrating, staring hard at the human in front of me. He looked at me, fear deep in his eyes, still living, still holding Life.

"Try harder, Sophie, I know you can do it," Aro smiled encouragingly, standing a good fifty feet away from me. The room we were in was enormous, with huge stained glass windows stretching for what seemed like miles into the sky. However, these masterpieces showed off no light, as we were many miles underground.

I took a deep breath, trying to force my gift into my voice. "End."

The human closed his eyes in anticipation, but did not die.

"Aro?" I called, slightly frustrated, but not angry. Never angry. "Does this man speak English?"

Aro nodded. I sighed.

Aro had informed me that Bella Cullen could block mental powers, which would render my gift completely useless. A memory from before I had gotten rid of the Bad Feelings had stirred when he had spoken her name, and I was quick to bury it. Despite my haste, I had tasted a little bit of what I had felt in that memory. Fear.

"End." Nothing.

Aro flitted to my side, placing a comforting arm around my shoulders.

"It's okay, Sophie. You've already done so much for the Volturi, you don't need to assist us this time," he said gently.

"But I _want_ to," I mumbled. Oh how I wanted to.

According to Aro, the Cullen coven was the Volturi's biggest threat, consisting of eight very talented vampires. They were surrounded and protected by werewolves, and raised a half-human vampire. I frowned, thinking of Joham. He had created dozens of the half-breeds, destroying the lives of countless women. But Aro had said the woman who had mothered the half-child had lived, turned into a vampire as soon as she gave birth.

Aro sighed. "Sophie, do you think you could make yourself a better fighter?"

I tried to think of how I could possibly phrase "be a good fighter" so that my body would understand.

"I can make myself stronger?" I asked, already telling myself the command. "And faster," I quickly added.

"Sophie, what if you tried drinking human blood?" Aro asked, meeting my gaze. I kept my expression emotionless.

Since before I could remember, I had never tasted blood. My eye color was pitch black, and the irises had spread, nearly covering the whites of my eyes, very different from the enticing red eyes the Volturi sported.

I tried to convince myself that the reason I didn't want to drink blood was because I liked the color of my eyes, the eternal blackness, but that was far from the truth. I didn't want to drink blood because I didn't want to loose control.

I had watched the Volturi lure in the humans many times, and I had seen the nightmarish frenzy that gripped them as they smelled and tasted the oozing red. Their eyes turned frantic as they tore their way through the bodies, and their minds seemed to be solely focused on the hunt. I didn't want to have to feel the wild I had locked away. I didn't want to loose control.

"I'm strong enough, Aro."

Aro shook his head. "I'm sorry Sophie, but without your gift and without human blood in your system, you are much weaker than the Cullens." He sighed and started walking out of the room, calling back to me, "There's a feeding in an hour, find me if you change your mind."

I inhaled. Exhaled. Taking in the scents around me. Taking in the human across the hall. He was screaming. I was about to tune him out, but decided to listen.

"Help!" he shrieked, pounding on the windows that were both colorful and dark. Help. I could help him.

"I'll help you," I said. I didn't recognize the voice that spoke those words. I don't think they were mine. They were my gift's. And I saw the human turn to me, his face pleading.

"You will?" he begged. I nodded, not letting him take his eyes off me. He followed my head as it moved up and down up and down up and down up and down. And then his face was empty, just as empty as every other human and vampire I had controlled. I smiled.

"End."

He fell.

Aro applauded.

* * *

It was all about the persuasion, I decided, as I practiced. I didn't need to start off with a sentence anymore. Within hours, I had created the perfect tone and emphasis. I just had to utter one word, and I could make whole groups of humans fall.

We were ready.

* * *

We were running through a thick dense forest.

_

* * *

_

I was in a forest. Once under cover of trees, I sprinted off deeper into the woods, dodging the branches and leaves that stood out easily in my path. Running, easy running...

* * *

I froze. Aro stopped with me.

"Sophie, is something wrong?" he murmured. He reached out to touch my hand.

I pulled back. What was that?

"Have I been here before?" I asked.

Aro nodded, "We found you here, Sophie." He looked over to where the Guard had stopped, and helped me up. "We should hurry," he added, and we took off again.

There was a circle of light ahead, a clearing. We slowed to a stop as we entered it.

_

* * *

_

Then there was an opening. A perfect oval like shape, with long, soft grass forming a meadow inside it. It looked fairly peaceful, and even though it was close to perfect; natural. Like Mother Nature's personal haven.

* * *

I gasped. Aro looked at me, concerned. I shook my head. Just old memories. I added a few more walls around my thoughts. No memories were allowed in.

And they were there. The werewolves, the Cullens, and the _thing_. I looked at it, repulsed.

Renesmee stood in the front, next to her mate, Jacob, who had his arms wrapped protectively around her. And in her arms was that the monster.

A tiny, pale, child-monster.

Carlisle came forward, and cleared his throat. "Aro, please, don't-"

"Carlisle, you know this is inexcusable."

"We'll fight you," said Emmett, but he was afraid. They were all afraid. Afraid of me.

There was no warning. Aro blinked three times in a row. Edward screamed and ran toward me.

"En..." and Renesmee looked me right in the eye. Her warm, brown eyes. And I finished the word, as I spoke the last sound, all the walls fell down. "...d."

Everything. The thirst. The pain. The Bad Feelings. The memories.

"_NO!_" I screamed, an earth-shaking scream, and curled up on the ground.

* * *

_I curled up in a ball letting my head rest on my knees._

* * *

The pain. The thirst.

* * *

_I inhaled deeply, and nearly choked, the burning feeling in my throat consuming all my thoughts._

* * *

The Bad Feelings.

* * *

_I was crumpled on the ground, sobbing. What I had done to Renesmee was horrible. Worse than insanity, hell, worse than death! For that one moment, that disgusting, hellish moment, I was nothing more than a shell. There was no thought, no will, no anything. Just my brain, latched onto Renesmee's, latched onto my own command. The only feeling I could sense a hint of was waiting, hanging on my every word, ready to jump on the next command._

* * *

And the memories.

* * *

_An incredibly beautiful girl came walking down the stairs. She wasn't quite as fluid in motion as the other vampires were, but she was graceful nonetheless. But that wasn't what made me so glad when I saw her._

_She was young, looking no older than fifteen or sixteen. Was she new, like me? Was my blood half-human as well? Her mouth turned slightly upward at the corners, though the expression was too rigid to be considered a smile. I let my mouth spread into a friendly grin._

_"Hey," she said, smiling slightly wider._

* * *

Renesmee.

* * *

_"That's the other thing," Renesmee said, examining her own hand, "I don't have the same skin as the others. It just glows. I'm like some freaky flashlight," she said bitterly, looking up at the sun. I got up and joined her._

_"You know, I'm only three days old," I said conversationally, trying to ease her. Renesmee looked at me, eyeing me with new caution. I shook my head, dropping my head. "No, I'm not dangerous." I then looked up at the sun, seeing red and orange spots with my new vampiric eyes. "There's something wrong with me, too."_

* * *

"_RENESME!_" I shrieked again, and my eyes wheeled wildly until they locked on her crumpled form. No. _NO!_

Everything seemed to rush over me at once, Edward drew closer, the thirst closed my throat, the pain, the guilt, the people I had killed-

"_STOP!_" I cried. The sound was shattering.

And everything was frozen.

Edward, stuck in a running position, arms outstretched. Renesmee's child, eyes full of tears. Jacob, halted halfway in the middle of a transformation. I turned around. Aro was paused, bolting towards me. I looked into the forest. A leaf, frozen mid-fall.

And Renesmee.

I rushed over to her, reaching out, praying that somehow I had failed.

But there was no Life, no Thought, nothing.

"_Live_," I said, placing my hand over her heart. Nothing. "_LIVE!_"

* * *

_Alice__ shook her head. "Sophie, I don't think you should ever turn human. It doesn't seem natural, to just change yourself. What if something goes wrong, and you die? Isn't being a vampire better than risking death?" I stayed silent. She went on anyway. "And I don't think you can create life."_

* * *

How long ago was that conversation? Years?

_I don't think you can create life_.

No. You can't.

But can you give it?

I looked at Renesmee's corpse. I thought of all those people, all those families, all those Lives I'd destroyed. How I'd taken everything remotely human about myself away.

My life wasn't worth living.

I stared at Renesmee's freak-child. He was beautiful, even with his face crumpled up in a sob. I looked at Jacob, nothing but love and anger in his half-phased eyes.

My life wasn't worth living, but Renesmee's was.

I turned to the Volturi, and reached out my gift to them, touching each of their minds.

_Never come back to the Cullens_, I said. _Forget me, forget this ever happened._

And then I turned back to Renesmee. I knelt by her side, lifting her hand, holding it tenderly.

She was my first and last friend in this world.

"_Give_," I commanded, and I felt the Life and Thought enter her body as it exited mine.


	10. Epilogue

_Renesemee_

I open my eyes.

And her story overcomes me.

Every memory, every thought,

They're all inside me now.

"Jacob!"

I see everything she saw, through her eyes.

My friend, my closest friend...

And then the memories start to fade.

The Life in me realizes that I am not Sophie.

It changes to fit me.

I need the memories, I need her.

I sprint back home.

To a piece of paper.

To a pen.

And I write.

I write her memories, her choices, her mistakes.

I write Sophie...

_How strange the mind is. I'm surprised more people haven't pondered its workings in even greater depth. I've spent countless hours up at night, wondering about brains and memories and relationships within the mind._


End file.
